Are You a NoDak German from Russia?

Germans from Russia are a fascinating part of the ethnic quilt that makes up North Dakota, the land in which there are still distinctly diverse shades of white among the descendants of Northern European immigrants. It is not too many years ago that a marriage between a German/Russian man and a Norwegian woman was considered a scandalous mixed marriage! Even today, there is a definitely teutonic flavor to life south of the NoDak German Border, also known as I-94.

The following is a totally non-scientific quiz made up of a series of yes/no questions. If you're a NoDak German from Russia, chances are you'll answer "yes" or "ja" to a lot of the questions. If any of the terms have you stumped, ask a nearby Nodak German from Russia for enlightenment, or failing that, send me your questions. There is a spot at the end of this mess for you to send me mail.

Ja/Nein Kves-chuns for you to antwort auf:

  1. Is your family the only one in the county, perhaps the world, that knows the RIGHT WAY to make Knoepfle Soup?
  2. Are you aware of at least five alternate spellings for Knoepfle Soup? Do you look askance at people who try to pronounce it without the initial K?
  3. When you hear the name Strassburg, do you immediately think of Lawrence Welk?
  4. When you say the name of the North Dakota town Kulm, does it have two syllables? Do you pronounce the name of Kulm's most famous citizen "Enchee Diggensen" and know at least two of her cousins?
  5. Did you pronounce the last word in question 5 as "kuzzints"?
  6. Do any family members play accordion? Pump organ? Harmonica?
  7. Do you plan your morning so that you'll be near a radio in time to hear the nursing home and hospital reports on the McCoy Radio Show?
  8. Even though Reverend McCoy has been dead for a while, do you still call it the McCoy Radio Show?
  9. Did at least one of your forebears once live near the Black Sea?
  10. If someone asks you the name of Peggy Lee's hometown, do you answer "Chemstown" and continue with the fact that she was confirmed at St. Chohn's Luteran, the German-Russian Vatican of Chemstown?
  11. If someone says they teach German or speak German, do you immediately launch into a detailed genealogy of everyone in your family and a detailed travelogue of your latest trip to Germany?
  12. Does your family put up sauerkraut? Pickled beets? Pickled watermelon? Home-canned chicken?
  13. When there's a marriage coming up in the family, does a pack of relatives get together and brew up a potent barrel of Hochzeitschnapps ?
  14. Do you feel that no wedding is complete if you haven't danced the polka, walz and butterfly until your corns ache?
  15. At night, when you go to bed, do you make the door shut to your bedroom and make the light out right before you nod off?
  16. Can any members of your immediate family sing all the verses to Gott ist die Liebe, pretty much in tune?
  17. Do you pronounce that hymn title "Gott ist dee Leebee"?
  18. Do you have a strong opinion about how much custard belongs in a prune kuchen?
  19. Can you hear the difference between Catholic Low German and Protestant Low German?
  20. Do you have relatives in Lodi, Sacramento or Stocton, California who moved there after the Big War?
  21. Does any of your family make a pilgrimage to the North Dakota picnic held in Lodi?
  22. Do you pronounce the name of that town "Lodee"?
  23. When you go to an Italian restaurant, do Calzone remind you of Fleischkuechle?
  24. Was any member of your immediate family baptized or confirmed in German? Do you still have the framed German document? Do you have it hanging in the living room with a shock of dried wheat tied to it?
  25. Does your family have at least one tattered letter from the old country written in handwriting where every other lower-case letter looks like it must be a lower-case r?
  26. Can you give the date and exact location of the Streeter Buffalo Feed? Of Sauerkraut Days? Of the Medina Fall Festival?
  27. When older ladies in your family go to the hairdresser, do they have their hairs cut and styled?
  28. Do you start to tear up and sniff with emotion at a rendition of Muss i denn?
  29. When a German native calls Knoepfle Spaetzle, do you roll your eyes and snicker because for you, that's a naughty word?
  30. If you were spelling it phonetically, would Bismarck begin with a p? Would Wisheck begin with a v? Would Zeeland begin with an s and end with a t? Would Ashley begin with an e?
  31. Do you have at least one relative who scowls a lot and suspects the motives of every kind person in town, especially other family members?
  32. Does your family secretly feel that those Norwegians wouldn't smile so much or have so much fun if they ever sat down and realized how serious life really is?
  33. Do you think that a purple house with robin's-egg blue trim and a yellow door looks really nice?
  34. Do you display any of the following in your yard:
  35. Does at least one member of your family have a house in which everything, including the pet dog, has been decorated with pink ribbon and white country lace applied with a hot melt glue gun?
  36. Has that same family member started to spray paint country stencils all over the barn and various farm implements?
  37. When you talk about your garage, do non-German/Russians look shocked because they think you've said crotch instead?

If your "ja's" seriously outweigh your "nein's", there's a good chance that you're a NoDak German from Russia, all right! Now chust relax, haff some peach kuchen and wait for your Oma to dish up that Knoepfle Soup!

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That's all, folks! If you enjoyed this quiz, want some answers, feel like sending hate mail or have any comments, please correspond with me here!

Return to Kate's Nodak Page or venture over to the "Are You a NoDak?" quiz.

Kate's Links: Are You a NoDak?/ stevenso@acc.jc.edu